an idiots delight

i was just driving down state street feeling clean inside and out, I remembered feeling this way when I was 19 out of jail going to this church in san diego, I felt clean, but soon after I felt a desire to smoke cigarettes, drink booze an mess with girls. that desire was strong and I went with it ,well for many years and i do mean many I never felt that clean feeling again, of course I really didnt notice it, I stayed doped up it was like the quail experience in the bible, God gave me as much garbage as I could stand even more. when... thinking about it this morning I realized that I chose that route. I went after the desires of this world, and gave up the desires for God. true satan probably presented them to me but I made the choice, I can claim ignorance, deception, tricked but I couldnt get free of them until I realized I made the choice. I have made many right choices these last few years, and the outcome kinda sucked, as far as my worldly view goes. But this morning I realized that the clean feeling I have is way better then anything the world has to offer. thank you God for doing for me what I couldnt do myself, if all the misery I went through is what it took to get me back to you, it was worth it.