dissatisfied

lately Ive been feeling dissatisfied with life as it is,  Im thinking this is just a normal state of being with me, no direction in life but not happy with where I am.  I know that in the past I have had different fantasies to keep me going, to keep me looking forward, to create excietment and help me forget about the hum drum world we live in. But unfortunatly a lot of my fantasies have become reality, and I noticed a lack of fullfillment at the completion of each one.  Once reality sets in and makes you aware of the emptiness of fantasy, it kinda ruins the dream. It seems the best thing I can do is love others  but my self doesnt like that idea, it wants to be entertained.  I think of moving to a sunny place, but the sunny place is full of people, going somewhere with no place to park.  I lack the funds to do exactly what I want to do, and feel trapped by my needs. I think that real joy comes from giving not recieving, but those who long to give to others are swallowed up by the greedy, selfish people of this planet, who hoard their belongings, thinking that when the end comes they will be here longer due to the mass quanities of useless stuff they have.  Drive down broadway in san diego calif , a tourist town, full of wealthy hoarders, who spend their time emassing wealth to squander on their pathetic selves. You will see in the midst of the partiers, and affluent, men women and children sleeping on the streets. Hey but what do we care it isnt us.